It was still dark outside but I could sense there was a little light coming from the kitchen. I was in that half-and-half state cocooned between sleep and the waking world. ‘Oh, fuck.’ in a sharp whisper. Then followed ‘For fuck’s sake’ in an increasingly less convincing whisper. With ‘Fuck you.’ as the crescendo. It gave me a little jolt, a reminder of the say-it-as-you-see-it way of life that I enjoy. It wasn’t directed to me and it made me smile as I knew what it meant.
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| Photo by Arzu Cengiz on Unsplash |
It was before 6am and my partner was diligently completing the twice weekly task of taking the bin out. He’d then go to the gym or hop back into bed for another hour’s sleep. As I heard him this morning I almost laughed. I knew what had happened; the bin liner had split and bin juices rained over his familiar task. I could’ve helped but I didn’t. I chuckled to myself and instantly went back to sleep, finding pleasure in just how cosy I was.
I could hear him easily, you see, as we live in a studio flat. If you’re not a big city dweller then this home life probably seems like anathema to you. But there’s no privacy? Don’t you get on each others’ nerves? Yes, probably, but that could happen anywhere. The housing market is insane, money is finite and we live on an island: you have to make choices.
There are things I would change, the first being another room or two. I’ve got visions of a music room where my partner can play and I can listen. And even a baby grand piano in a spacious living room, with the notes bouncing off the high ceilings. I have developed a deep respect for doors in the five years that we’ve only had two in our flat.
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| Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash |
But, you know, we’re lucky. We have a home of our own, with our name on the lease, in an area that feels familiar. There is newness and wonder popping up all over. And also ludicrous money-pits of objects on sale that I can only presume are a joke; they make me laugh. I choose to enjoy what we have. It’s ours and we chose it. We don’t have everything but I don’t give too much of a fuck.